SINGLE RULE FOR MEN....

In the world of romance, one single rule applies to men:

Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points.

Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.

You don't get any points for doing something she expects.

Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed (+1)

You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)

You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)


In the rain (+8)


But return with Beer (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)

You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)

You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)

You pummel it with iron rod (+10)


It's her pet (-10)


SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

You stay by her side the entire party (0)

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)

Named Rita (-4)

Rita is a dancer (-6)


Rita is single and is really beautiful (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY

You forget her birthday (-50000)

You take her out to dinner (0)

You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)

Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)

And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)

It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the

colours of your favourite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT

You take her to a movie (+2)

You take her to a movie she likes (+4)

You take her to a movie you hate (+6)

You take her to a movie you like (-2)

It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans(-15)

ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION

She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]

You hesitate in responding (-10)

You reply, "Where?" (-35)

Any other response (-20)

COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks

like a concerned __expression (0)

You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)

You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)

She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)

Now what chance do you have???

Marketing in our life::::::

Professor at IILM-GSM was explaining Marketing concepts:

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.

You go up to her and say,

"I'm very rich. Marry me!"

That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a

gorgeous girl.

One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at

you says,

"He's very rich. Marry him."

That's Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.

You go up to her and get her telephone number. The

next day you call

and say, "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me."

That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.

You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to

her and pour her a

drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag

after she drops it, offer

her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm very

rich. Will you marry me?"

That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.

She walks up to you and says, "You are very

rich.."

That's Brand Recognition.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.

You go up to her and say, "I'm very rich. Marry

me"

She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.

That's Customer Feedback !!!!!

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.

You go up to her and say, "Im very rich. Marry

me!"

And she introduces you to her husband.

That's Demand and supply gap.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.

You go up to her and before you say, "I'm very

rich. Marry me!"

She turns her face towards you ------------ she is

your wife!

That's competition eating into your market share.

loyality does matter at the end of the day,,,,

Do U know?There were about 70 scientists working on a very hectic project.

Allof them were really frustrated due to the pressure of work and  demands of their boss but everyone was loyal to him and did not think of quitting the job.

One day, one scientist came to his boss and told him - Sir, I havepromised to my children that I will take them to the exhibition goingon in our township.

So I want to leave the office at 5:30 pm.

His boss replied 'OK, You're permitted to leave the office early todayThe Scientist started working.

He continued his work after lunch.

Asusual he got involved to such an extent that he looked at his watchwhen he felt he was close to completion.

The time was 8.30 PM. Suddenlyhe remembered of the promise he had given to his children.

He looked for his boss,,He was not there.

Having told him in the morning itself,he closed everything and left for home.

Deep within himself, he was feeling guilty for having disappointed his children.

He reached home.Children were not there.His wife alone was sitting in the hall and reading magazines.

The situation was explosive, any talk would boomerang on him.

His wifeasked him 'Would you like to have coffee or shall I straight awayserve dinner if you are hungry.

The man replied 'If you would like to have coffee, i too will have butwhat about Children ??'Wife replied 'You don't know ??

Your manager came here at 5.15 PM andhas taken the children to the exhibition.

What had really happened was...

The boss who granted him permission was observing him workingseriously at 5.00 PM.

He thought to himself, this person will not leave the work, but if he has promised his children they should enjoy the visit to exhibition.

So he took the lead in taking them to exhibition The boss does not have to do it everytime.

But once it is done,loyalty is established.

That is why all the scientists at Thumba continued to work under theirboss even though the stress was tremendous.

can you guess boss?

??????

Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam

CAREER SONG

Career Songs - The 8 stages

1. when in college : Hum honge kaamiyaab, Hum honge kaamiyaab ek din.....

2. when giving interview to Multi National Company: Tu hi re.. Too hi re ....tere binaaa main kaise jiyunn....

3. waiting for interview result: Intehaa ho gai Intzaarki.. aayinaaa kuch khabar mere yaarki ...

4. just joined: Too cheez badi hai mast mast.....

5. after some time: Ye kahaan aa gaye hum??

6. After some more time: Naa koyi umang hai, naa koyi tarang hai, meri jindagi ek kati Pathang hai (booohoooo)

7. floating the resume: kabootar ja ja ja... kabootar ja ja ja... pehele pyar ki peheli chitthi...

8. finally when you don't get a better offer any longer:

Jeena Yehaan, marna Yehaan iske siwa jaana Kahaa...!!!

TOUCHING STORY OF A YOUNG MAN

A young man was getting ready to graduate college.
For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom,
and knowing his father could well afford it,
he told him that was all he wanted.
As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car.
Finally, on themorning of his graduation his father called him into his private study.
His father told him how proud he was to have such a fineson, and told him how much he loved him.
He handed his sona beautiful wrapped gift box.
Curious, but somewhat disappointed the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible.
Angrily,he raised his voice at his father and said, "With all your money yougive me a Bible?" and stormed out of the house, leaving the holybook.
Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business.
He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him.
Hehad not seen him since that graduation day.
Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son.
Heneeded to come home immediately and take care things.
When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness andregret filled his heart.
He began to search his father's important papers and saw the still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago.
Withtears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages.
As heread those words, a car key dropped from an envelopetaped behind the Bible.
It had a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired.
On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words...PAID IN FULL.
,,,,,How many times do we miss God's blessings because they are not packaged as we expected ?

ARE HAME TO//////

Are hame to apno ne luta, gairo mein kya dam tha.
Meri haddi vaha tutti, jha hospital bahd tha.
Mujhe jis ambulence mein dala, uska petrol kam tha.
Mujhe rikshe mein isliye bithaya, kyo ki uska kiraya kam tha.
Mujhe doctro ne uthaya, nurso mein kha dum tha.
Mujhe jis bed par litaya, uske niche bumb tha.
Mujhe to bumb se udaya, goli mein kha dum tha.
Mujhe sadak mein dafnaya, kyo ki kabristan mein FUNCTION tha...

::::LIFE MEANS::::

LIFE MEANS: A winter evening ,four friends,

mild rain ,four cups of tea.

LIFE MEANS: Hundred bucks of petrol ,two rusty old bikes,

and an open road.

LIFE MEANS: Maggi noodles,a hostel room,

3.25am.

LIFE MEANS: One preparation leave ,one night,

one book ,8 duffers.

LIFE MEANS: Three old friends ,three separate cities,

three coffee mugs ,n one internet messenger.

LIFE MEANS: One girl ,one number,

four friends ,n a fight.

LIFE MEANS: FRIENDS,,,

LIFE HAS CHANGE A LOT.....!!!

There was a time when "INNOCENCE" was "NATURAL",


when getting high meant "ON A SWING",


when "DRINKING" meant "RASNA ORANGE",


when "DAD" was the only "HERO",


when "LOVE" was "MOM'S HUG",


when "DAD'S SHOULDERS" was the "HIGHEST PLACE ON EARTH",


when our "ENEMIES" were our "SIBILINGS",


when the only thing that could "HURT" were "BLEEDING KNEES",


when the only things"BROKEN" were "TOYS",


AND when "GUDBYES" only meant " TILL 2MARO".


LIFE HAS CHANGE A LOT....!!!


WAKE UP GUYZZZ.....

HOW CAN WE PASS...???

It's not the fault of the student if he fails,
becausethe year has'ONLY"365' days.


Typical academic year for a student:-


1. Sundays-52,Sundays in a year, which are restdays.Balance 313 days.
2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.Balance 263 days.
3. 8 hours daily sleep-means 122 days.Balance 141 days.
4. 1 hour for daily playing-(good for health)means15 days.Balance 126 days.
5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies(chewproperly & eat)-means30days.Balance 96 days.
6. 1 hour for talking (man is a socialanimal)-means15 days Balance 81days.
7. Exam days per year atleast 35 days.Balance 46 days.
8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival(holidays)-40days.Balance 6 days.
9. For sickness atleast 3 days.Balance 3 days.
10. Movies and functions at least 2 days.Balance 1 day.
11. That 1 day is your birthday."How can a student pass?
SO DON'T TAKE TENSION ENJOY THE LIFE...!!!!

COLLEGE LIFE....!!!!!

Remembering my classmates, after few years,
My eyes were filled with tears,
Every1 now is busy a lot,
No one escaped destiny's plot.......


Saw the girl, whom once I thought as my best friend,
Oops.! today she is somebody else g'friend,
After months remembered about her for a little while,
Heared she is happy ,that made me smile....


Project reviews to campus interviews,
Nicknames to last bench games,
Cultural rehearsals to love proposals,
Short term crushes to class room blushes.....


Everything is fresh in our mind,
Wish life could just rewind,
Let's laugh, play & rejoice,
Once again become college guys....


Chating and laughing. we all were in elation,
Till the painfull moments of separation,
When it was time to part,
We returned with a heavy heart....


TODAY LIFE IS FULL OF COMMITMENTS,
AND TOO MANY WORRIES,
BUT THOSE CHERISHED MOMENTS,
WILL LIVE FOREVER IN OUR MEMORIES...!!!!